4 entities that could be better managers than Diego Maradona for Argentina

After Argentina bowed out of the World Cup, criticism has been pouring out for Lionel Messi and his men, even though the team was in no way anything close to being considered favourites for winning the trophy.

A highly lopsided team- it is actually a wonder as to how they made it to the Round of 16 when Germany couldn’t. That, in itself, is quite achievement for them. However, the fact that Lionel Messi plays for them means that the expectations are always there.

And when failure mixes with expectations, it leads to criticism. One of Argentina’s biggest critics after their elimination was Diego Maradona.

The Argentine legend condemned Messi and not co. for not attacking the French box enough, before adding that he would coach the Argentina national team for free in order to teach them such things.

'It was already predicted in the build-up. We knew after we left Moscow that Pavon, Messi and Di María were the ones who were going to attack the French defence, yet I don’t think they know a lot about the box, penalty spot or putting pressure on the centre-backs.

“Yes, they know how to create, but they’re not strikers. I think we went to the cinema more than the field because we came to see the chronicle of a death foretold. It’s true because Argentina inadvertently went out to attack France but made the mistake of leaving a lot of room for Mbappe.”

“Yes [I would coach Argentina if given the chance], and I would do it for free. I wouldn’t ask for anything in return. People think I am happy but my heart is heavy. I feel really bad that everything we built with so much effort we destroyed so easily.”

Yes, Mr. Maradona wants to be the coach of Argentina – the same guy who managed the Albiceleste to a disastrous campaign in 2010, where he looked as clueless as Americans when naming their version of rugby as football.

There are literally million better options than having Maradona as the manager on the sidelines during Argentina matches – and here are 5 of them.

#4 A cone

A cone is much more useful than having Diego Maradona on the sidelines. For starters, a cone won’t wear two watches because it has only one end. Maradona used to were two watches – one on his right hand and the other on his left.

The reason he did that was because on one hand, the watch revealed the time in Argentina and the other said the local time (which was South Africa). I mean, this is a guy who is either so weak at simple math that he can’t figure out what the time in Argentina is using GMT calculations or he is just plain lazy to use that much of his brain (that is considering if he has one).

In either case, these are not good signs for a guy wanting to be the manager of Argentina. A cone, meanwhile, will not only help Argentina players by not doing anything crazy on the sidelines but also be a useful tool for anyone who wants to improve their ball-control or shooting accuracy by dribbling around it or using it as a target while shooting practice.

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#3 The journalist’s ribbon

Remember the ribbon an Argentine journalist gave to Lionel Messi as a good luck charm from the journalist’s mother and then Messi wore it on his left foot in an act of great kindness and humility?

While Argentina might not have progressed to the quarter-final with Messi wearing that ribbon, they did bow out with a respectable 4-3 loss to Argentina. Meanwhile, with Maradona in 2010, Germany thrashed them 4-0 in the quarter-final and utterly humiliated them.

So, in short, the ribbon would be a better manager because tactically, it knows as much as Maradona but it has the blessing of an old women, so it holds more weight than Maradona as a manager.

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#2 My nan

Remember when Maradona slapped a journalist for winking at his ex or when he kicked a fan for lifting a banner from underneath and ruining Maradona’s photo session?

Well, my nan is a very kind woman and has never hurt even a fly in her life, let alone kick or slap someone. She is also the best cook in the world, which means that the players will be very happy after eating the delicacies she cooks.

And what does a happy bunch of players mean? Great morale, great performances. And like mentioned earlier, the blessings of an old woman will have more weight than someone who sniffs coke for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

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#1 The shine from Zidane’s bald head 

 

Sometimes tactics is not the important thing. Sometimes, the imperative is to have a good vibe in the dressing room with a hint of luck on the playing field. This is something Zinedine Zidane’s Madrid had.

While the Frenchman wasn’t as tactically sound as many of his peers, he is the only manager in the modern era to win three Champions League titles in a row, with most of the plaudits belonging to his man management skills.

There is also a part of the football fraternity that believe that the radiance from Zidane’s bald head brings good luck to his players. While some call it black magic, others think it is just the Godly light exuded from his head.

If Argentina had that during 2014, 2015 and 2016, they would have won all three finals consecutively. But if they had Diego Maradona at that time, they wouldn’t have even won the Fair Play Award in the Copa America 2016 and would instead only be left with some white powder that the former Argentina captain forgot to take home.